Clean Funny Jokes - Actual School Excuse Notes

* My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
* Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
* Please excuse me for being absent last week. I am in pursuing my life's dream and training to become a Master Burger Flipper at McDonald's.
* Dear School: Excuses
Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
* Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
* Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
* John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
* Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
* Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
* Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
* I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
* Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
* Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
* My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
* Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds.
* My brother used this in real life..."the only reason that I do bad in school is because I'm near and far sighted."
* I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't!
* Please excuse my daughter for being late. Her broom won't start so I had to send it back to Salem for repairs!
* I'm sorry but my baby sitter flushed my homework down the toilet.
* I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.
* I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!